Luck

Prior to the possible luck that could strike me this 2007, my sister recently borrowed a thingamajig called the magic 8-ball. For those who haven't known it, the ball predicts your fate by giving answers to questions about the future. It only accepts yes/no questions, but its predictions are accurate. most of the time (as my sister, and maybe other 8-ball users and believers, succinctly puts it: "the magic 8-ball is always right.", but that's another story). The usage is simple (I don't know if these are the correct instructions -- I just made them): stare at the ball and ask a question at it, then shake the ball an you see your "future" based on what the 8-ball tells you on its answer window.

Wait... I sound like advertising material. Can someone hurl a heavy furniture on my face? Thank you.

Anyway back to the intended plot. As I said my sister tried my friend's magic 8-ball. Curious of its, um, unbelievable power to predict, I also dug in.

I asked these questions to the ball, and the ball gave me the following responses:

- Will I pass PLMAT (a Philippine university's entrance exam)? "My sources say no." (NOOOOOOO!!!!!!)

- Will I be rich in 10 years? "Yes Definitely." (WOOOHOOO!!!)

- Does someone have a crush on me? "Don't count on it." (Whew...)

- Will I pass UPCAT (another Philippine university's entrance exam)? "Concentrate and ask again." (...)

- Do I feel like what I think I should be? "Without a doubt." (I feel what, do not know.)

- Will the Philippine president be ousted before the end of this year? "Outlook good." (Just make happen already.)

- [Again,] will I pass UPCAT? "You may rely on it." ("May" means unsure, so it could be equivalent to "Don't count on it.")

- Do I have to be a stupid moron in order to be famous? "Very doubtful." (no comment.)

- [Again,] will I pass PLMAT? "As I see it, yes."

Results vary from person to person, place to place, time to time. Make sure you do the asking when you're in a good and cozy mood. Lest you fancy smashing things when you don't get the answers you expect, in this case you might destroy the 8-ball and something terrible will happen.

Again, Happy 2007.

First Thing In 2007: Annoyance

Seven things I'm annoyed on the first seven days of 2007:

1. The Block. Well, it struck again, and it made sure I can't post on the first day of 2007. I've been trying to squeeze out a thought since New Year's Eve, but it wouldn't give me any.

Well, that broke my vow to greet every New Year with a post on the first day.

2. People who blow up things after New Year. Sleep was out of the question the day after the new year. For every pop I hear, my mind tells me to kill those jerks. Well, it passed. But I could still hear popping in my head.

3. Christmas... In January. The TV networks are still showing Christmas-themed commercials. That's not right.

4. The MMFF People. The Metro Manila Film Festival is trying its best to keep Philippine Cinema alive. But what if the committee's concept of film making is making money? That's the point when one of the movies that competed won the Best Picture award when it was revealed that it won because it was a box office hit (it made more money than the other films). That wasn't their criteria recently. In fact the committee itself made a crime against Art. Many celebrities and people were dismayed, of course.

5. Politicians contemplating a seat in the office. Elections are due for May, but these people are already advertising. A lot of streets have campaign paraphernalia scrawled all over. Oh sure, it's not campaign paraphernalia, as you people say, but a Christmas greeting. But what the hell is the phrase "Vote for x" doing there?

The ads may not have cause vehicular accident for now, but rest assured it will occur.

6. Upsurge in prices. LPG and oil prices soared, as well as many goods and services. Add the strengthening of the Philippine Peso against the US Dollar, and people who depend on their foreign-working friends will be poorer as the strengthening goes on every single day (and it was forecasted by psychics that it shall roll until the end of 2007).

7. My New Year's Resolutions. I'm sure I'll be forcibly asked when I return to school this Monday. What should I answer, anyway?

New Year's Heave (Good Bye Old Year, Hello New Year)

A lot of things happened in 2006. That's what most of the television programmes told me. A lot.

Anyway, I didn't really watched those taking-a-look-back specials they showed. As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing in 2006 that is worth remembering. Sure there's the greatest feats that mankind/countrymen had done for the human race/their mother land, or the most life-changing ideas, discoveries and inventions, or those cool gizmos and gadgets that had made life easier. But do these objects and accomplishments suffice the needs and desires of every person on the planet?

As of now I think none of the 2006 eventualities ever had the appreciation or impact of at least 50% of the world population. Unfortunately everyone had different tastes and interests, and these could change almost every hour. So it could be impossible to have attention of at least 50% of humans.

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If I were to be asked on what I did on the Holiday vacation, I would say that nothing eventful I did, other than playing, watching, reading, listening, getting annoyed, and receiving gifts from people whose names I often forget (I'm not a good memorizer of things). If I were to be queried about the happiest/worst moments of my vacation, "I don't have one, and I'm still not getting any. In fact, I might not experience one at all. If someone asks, "What gift did you received on Christmas?", "Why the hell are you asking me these things?! Are you my stalker?! GET A LIFE, YOU DINGBAT! AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

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The last crisis of everyone in the Philippines: the sudden increase of costs of foods and services, as well as fireworks, explosives, noisemakers and wisecracks. The shops and stores had already inflated their prices last Christmas, and now they did it again, the event being New Year.

A message to you business pigs: how the heck could the country celebrate New Year if you're the only ones hogging the joy? How Dare You?! You will pay for your greediness. You are all abomination to The Almighty One! You will ALL die!!! MWAHAHAHAAHH!!!

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And this is my last entry for 2006. May everyone have a joyful 2007. Catch you later.

Christmax Report: New Year already?

• Every Christmas day in the Philippines, children come to their grandfather, grandmother, godfather, godmother's houses to show before them how good they have been this year. Then ask for money. After they collect a huge amount form their mawmys and dahdies, said children would go out to spend their hard-earned cash to the commercial businesses that do nothing other than make us spend.
• Following the get-rich-quick scheme of children (including me), the mall population shot up several levels. Having money to buy whatever the heck they want, they go to these desire-giving places to grab the stuff they always wanted. Well, that is if they could get to it first, because everyone is buying it. Plus, if the store actually excused itself form the holiday festivities, you have to go back when it opens again.
• Christmas Day felt like New Year's day. The "rich" kids bought fireworks, bombs and PVC bombs to make them explode and drive us nuts. Already our ear drums are getting thinner by the sudden bursts of sound and we could end up strangling or dousing those people in gasoline.
• People are randomly throwing fireworks at innocent passersby. Me and my sister almost had our ear blown because of a drunken guy throwing explosives. Thank god the guy was arrested. Wait, what's that thing with smoke coming out of it? Omighod, it's explosives! RUN!
• Even at Christmas Day people were having a feast.
• While everyone enjoyed Christmas, I don't. I'm still waiting for New Year to come.
  

Chistmax

Christmas Eve (properly known as The Night Before Christmas) here in my vicinity looked a lot like New Year's Eve, only less prissy but as annoying as New Year in itself.



Anyway we didn't really do much on Christmas Eve. We just ate, gave thanks, then slept. The neighborhood lit fireworks, had a extravagant feast, and had a wonderful time. My sister had a CSI marathon before she slept. As for me, nothing special happened, just thankful that this time had passed. But I'm still worried then, the event being New Year.



Well, New Year's still pretty off the hook, so I'll still live.

Twax the night for Christmax

In a few hours, the whole world will celebrate what is called Christmas. Also an hour before that (or shorter/longer) people will have what is called Noche Buena (Dinner before Christmas?).

As for me, I'll celebrate it. But with a frown in my heart. No, it's not because of the evil businessmen who put a streak of commercialism in the holiday spirit. It's just me. So back off my head.

Thoughts on Christmas

Fake plastic trees. Styrofoam snow. False cheer. Burning of wood and money. Just some of the things that come into my mind when I think of Christmas. It's a long list, and it will take me forever to jot them all; seriously, they're all composed of horrible unprintables.

When it is December, and you hear Christmas, it's great in the ears: gifts, trees, bright lights, soothing songs, cheer. But when you think about it carefully, it's horrible: having to buy gifts to brats who wouldn't appreciate anything until you get them "The One" they want (and they always change their preferences every year); setting up decorations you know no-one would appreciate; plugging Christmas lights that will make your electricity bills shoot out of orbit; carolers ranging from one-man-bands to an orchestraic choir acappellas who wouldn't appreciate your shelling out of a hundred bucks for their performance (sometimes they don't leave to show how disappointed they are in your shelling out of a hundred bucks); among others.

Christmas is the time where we are supposed to celebrate the birth of the One who is to save us all from our sins when the end comes, or so we are told. (Whichever religion you are, if you do good deeds, when you die you will go to paradise and live a happy life; otherwise you go to the corollary of heaven, which is hell.) What we have here now is evil marketing strategy of business owners to make us cough up every bit of money we have to buy gifts you hate so much. People that make you cringe when they are near you. People you'd rather push off a deep cliff.

Just like Valentines day, Labor day, back-to-school days, independence days, thanksgiving days, days of the dead and other recognized holidays, festivities and occasions, Christmas is the time for businessmen to make money. And to do that they will hostage people and drag then to their turfs (malls, stores, etc.) and force them to spend every cent they have worked hard for on stuff no-one really needs or else they won't get out of the place alive. Not to mention that the insipid stuff they're throwing on us are contributing to the slow but certain destruction of our planet in the long run, but the continuous sabotage of nature, through the manufacture of tripe greeting cards and combustible gifts, the burning of anything for warmth, and other things that make use of natural resources and the creation of trash, is shortening our time left before the Almighty One smites us dead because of out doing. Already the world is showing the signs that signal the coming of The End.

Anyway, this article is not about environmental concerns (although it has a huge share of attention) or postponing Christmas. All I want you to do this year is to celebrate Christmas responsibly and sensibly. Enjoy the winter wonderland in a simple and basic way, just for this year, and celebrate the true reason why we are celebrating Christmas in the first place.

Sometimes brevity is a virtue.