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Saturday, November 25, 2006

I see dead, people

I know it's kind of a bad thing to write bad and pessimistic stuff, specifically: depressing topics; and I know this could lead to my self destruction. But then I wouldn't have anything to write about and, worse, I wouldn't be blogging at all. So I'll just go on hounding you (and myself) of heinous things. Specifically: pointless stuff.

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I draw of people being tortured to their deaths. I don't know. I've been drawing them since the puppy of ours died. No, I'm not fixated on death, and I'm not a sadist, masochist, or both. It's just..., well, I just draw of them. I don't know why.

I didn't know I could actually draw. Even if it was by accident, I was shocked at the fact that I could draw. I usually draw of things like those drafters and architects usually draw: grid lines, blocks, house plans (how I got into planning places for people to live in, I have no idea). Now I actually draw of cornfields, grasslands, mountains, oceans, my own bedroom (like I said, I don't know). Though they will never match the brilliance of the most prominent artists here and then, I still consider them works of art, even if it was drawn on the cheap.

Anyway, I find strange the fact that I'm drawing of death. In fact, I love life, and I'll refuse to leave my childhood when I finish college (I fear of getting old). But then we must accept the reality that life continues, everything goes, and all things living and breathing must cease to exist at a certain point of life, including us humans. I might want to live a thousand years more so that I could prove that we're still millenia (millenias?) from extinction, but no-one could make it possible because we hold no control of life. Pardon the digression. Not that I'm aspiring to be immortal by way of a ghost, spirit or whatever paranormal entity who died a violent death, but sometimes I see myself being the one tortured to death. An absurd experience. I don't really want to think nor act of it. But until the fixation is gone I shall never stop of drawing things that make people shiver and human rights activists anger (huh?).

What have I been drawing, you might ask. Well, as I have examined the things that I have created, they're mostly made of stuff from history Guillotines, garrotes, gallows, drowning, burning at the stake, stoning, throat-cutting, gun shots, among others. The rest of the drawings I couldn't explain even a little because it features strange ways of flagellation and self-torture (Again, I disclaim any ideas of sadism, masochism, or both).

I've been obsessed with death for too long, too much, too late (because, I think this twitch should've happened before Halloween, not before Christmas). I should rest, lest my soul taken. Wish I live the rest of the day.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

coming and going... (a tribute to our pet)

We waited anxiously for your arrival. Even before we saw you we already think of things that we should do with you. What games should we play? What Clothes should you wear? What do you look like? We had fun.

And then you arrived. We screamed with joy as you set foot. You ran around the house wildly. You looked at your new home. You literally liked your new masters... So much that your first act in the house: you peed on the floor.

Well, long story. On the first month if your stay you peed and pooped, peed and pooped, ped and pooped. But that doesn't matter. All dogs do that, anyway.

Then, naming you. We were in a little trouble trying to give you a name. You certainly looked like a female when, technically, you're a male. So we have thought of giving you a girl-ish name. Unfortunately the plan didn't pushed through and, instead, resorted to giving you a name of a chinese (?) animal, since you looked like them except for the spots, which are brown.

Anyway, we had totally enjoyable moments with you. We dressed you up with clothes that we know wouldn't fit you and could cause our untimely coughing because of your hair. We photographed your cute little face. We made pointlessness to you. Even if it was nonesense, you were great entertainment value for us.

I really thought our happy relationships with you would go on...

... But things must change, then.

One day, unexpectedly, you started getting sick. You lie on the floor. You didn't want to eat. You start peeing, pooping, vomiting... blood. I don't know why.

We wanted to save you then. But all is lost. Everything failed. We started to cry.

We looked at your frail and dying body and, before we knew it, you returned to... Him...

That's the last we heard of you.

Our mother says you were not worthy for us so He made you die. Our (self-important) father recommended that we'd better not grieve on you, and insisted that we look into our futures instead.

So we forget you...

But then..., I sitll miss you.



In Loving Memory of Our Beloved Puppy, Panda.
May 23, 2006 - November 17, 2006

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Things I found out from the educational trips I have joined during my high school years

1. They always tell us to "always follow the S.O.Ps (standard operating procedures) or else, get scolded by your teachers or, worse, the principal of your school."

sublist: the standard operating procedures
a. you cannot eat inside the bus, unless you share your food to others.
b. always check your seatmate for anything. he/she might have lost something, or maybe your seatmate might have been lost somewhere.
c. do not stand up while the bus is rolling. your head might hit someone else's.
d. always latch tight to your valuables, lest you get surrounded by gang thieves.

2. You will always visit the birthplace of your national hero. I noticed this, even in my elementary years: I always see Calamba, Laguna as our itinerary. There is something about Jose Rizal that convinces every Filipinos that he will be around with us for generations to come.

3. All places have great entertainment value, if not educational value or both.

4. Celebrity sightings are rare collectors item during a field trip. (Unfortunately, I didn't see any prominent personalities going on vacation.)

5. Things can get nasty if the bus runs through bumps on the road.

6. Better not join if you usually get sick on the road.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Damn the block...

Oh, great. The block struck again. Just as I was about to start a new babble that huge cube exploded right beside my brain. Now what? I Can't Get A Single Thought Out.

Anyway, my new posts are in the process of being written. Two of them includes: what happened to my educational field trip that was hell for my feet, and thoughts about the upcoming holiday that is Christmas.

Until then. I shall rest for a while so I could melt off the cerebral fat deposits.

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For the people reading on multiply, I would appreciate if you read my blog via my blogger website. Everything you see on my blog on multiply are just mirrors from my original blog. here you go: http://amnip.blogspot.com/