Friday, January 12, 2007


Prior to the possible luck that could strike me this 2007, my sister recently borrowed a thingamajig called the magic 8-ball. For those who haven't known it, the ball predicts your fate by giving answers to questions about the future. It only accepts yes/no questions, but its predictions are accurate. most of the time (as my sister, and maybe other 8-ball users and believers, succinctly puts it: "the magic 8-ball is always right.", but that's another story). The usage is simple (I don't know if these are the correct instructions -- I just made them): stare at the ball and ask a question at it, then shake the ball an you see your "future" based on what the 8-ball tells you on its answer window.

Wait... I sound like advertising material. Can someone hurl a heavy furniture on my face? Thank you.

Anyway back to the intended plot. As I said my sister tried my friend's magic 8-ball. Curious of its, um, unbelievable power to predict, I also dug in.

I asked these questions to the ball, and the ball gave me the following responses:

- Will I pass PLMAT (a Philippine university's entrance exam)? "My sources say no." (NOOOOOOO!!!!!!)

- Will I be rich in 10 years? "Yes Definitely." (WOOOHOOO!!!)

- Does someone have a crush on me? "Don't count on it." (Whew...)

- Will I pass UPCAT (another Philippine university's entrance exam)? "Concentrate and ask again." (...)

- Do I feel like what I think I should be? "Without a doubt." (I feel what, do not know.)

- Will the Philippine president be ousted before the end of this year? "Outlook good." (Just make happen already.)

- [Again,] will I pass UPCAT? "You may rely on it." ("May" means unsure, so it could be equivalent to "Don't count on it.")

- Do I have to be a stupid moron in order to be famous? "Very doubtful." (no comment.)

- [Again,] will I pass PLMAT? "As I see it, yes."

Results vary from person to person, place to place, time to time. Make sure you do the asking when you're in a good and cozy mood. Lest you fancy smashing things when you don't get the answers you expect, in this case you might destroy the 8-ball and something terrible will happen.

Again, Happy 2007.

No comments: