Luck

Prior to the possible luck that could strike me this 2007, my sister recently borrowed a thingamajig called the magic 8-ball. For those who haven't known it, the ball predicts your fate by giving answers to questions about the future. It only accepts yes/no questions, but its predictions are accurate. most of the time (as my sister, and maybe other 8-ball users and believers, succinctly puts it: "the magic 8-ball is always right.", but that's another story). The usage is simple (I don't know if these are the correct instructions -- I just made them): stare at the ball and ask a question at it, then shake the ball an you see your "future" based on what the 8-ball tells you on its answer window.

Wait... I sound like advertising material. Can someone hurl a heavy furniture on my face? Thank you.

Anyway back to the intended plot. As I said my sister tried my friend's magic 8-ball. Curious of its, um, unbelievable power to predict, I also dug in.

I asked these questions to the ball, and the ball gave me the following responses:

- Will I pass PLMAT (a Philippine university's entrance exam)? "My sources say no." (NOOOOOOO!!!!!!)

- Will I be rich in 10 years? "Yes Definitely." (WOOOHOOO!!!)

- Does someone have a crush on me? "Don't count on it." (Whew...)

- Will I pass UPCAT (another Philippine university's entrance exam)? "Concentrate and ask again." (...)

- Do I feel like what I think I should be? "Without a doubt." (I feel what, do not know.)

- Will the Philippine president be ousted before the end of this year? "Outlook good." (Just make happen already.)

- [Again,] will I pass UPCAT? "You may rely on it." ("May" means unsure, so it could be equivalent to "Don't count on it.")

- Do I have to be a stupid moron in order to be famous? "Very doubtful." (no comment.)

- [Again,] will I pass PLMAT? "As I see it, yes."

Results vary from person to person, place to place, time to time. Make sure you do the asking when you're in a good and cozy mood. Lest you fancy smashing things when you don't get the answers you expect, in this case you might destroy the 8-ball and something terrible will happen.

Again, Happy 2007.

First Thing In 2007: Annoyance

Seven things I'm annoyed on the first seven days of 2007:

1. The Block. Well, it struck again, and it made sure I can't post on the first day of 2007. I've been trying to squeeze out a thought since New Year's Eve, but it wouldn't give me any.

Well, that broke my vow to greet every New Year with a post on the first day.

2. People who blow up things after New Year. Sleep was out of the question the day after the new year. For every pop I hear, my mind tells me to kill those jerks. Well, it passed. But I could still hear popping in my head.

3. Christmas... In January. The TV networks are still showing Christmas-themed commercials. That's not right.

4. The MMFF People. The Metro Manila Film Festival is trying its best to keep Philippine Cinema alive. But what if the committee's concept of film making is making money? That's the point when one of the movies that competed won the Best Picture award when it was revealed that it won because it was a box office hit (it made more money than the other films). That wasn't their criteria recently. In fact the committee itself made a crime against Art. Many celebrities and people were dismayed, of course.

5. Politicians contemplating a seat in the office. Elections are due for May, but these people are already advertising. A lot of streets have campaign paraphernalia scrawled all over. Oh sure, it's not campaign paraphernalia, as you people say, but a Christmas greeting. But what the hell is the phrase "Vote for x" doing there?

The ads may not have cause vehicular accident for now, but rest assured it will occur.

6. Upsurge in prices. LPG and oil prices soared, as well as many goods and services. Add the strengthening of the Philippine Peso against the US Dollar, and people who depend on their foreign-working friends will be poorer as the strengthening goes on every single day (and it was forecasted by psychics that it shall roll until the end of 2007).

7. My New Year's Resolutions. I'm sure I'll be forcibly asked when I return to school this Monday. What should I answer, anyway?

New Year's Heave (Good Bye Old Year, Hello New Year)

A lot of things happened in 2006. That's what most of the television programmes told me. A lot.

Anyway, I didn't really watched those taking-a-look-back specials they showed. As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing in 2006 that is worth remembering. Sure there's the greatest feats that mankind/countrymen had done for the human race/their mother land, or the most life-changing ideas, discoveries and inventions, or those cool gizmos and gadgets that had made life easier. But do these objects and accomplishments suffice the needs and desires of every person on the planet?

As of now I think none of the 2006 eventualities ever had the appreciation or impact of at least 50% of the world population. Unfortunately everyone had different tastes and interests, and these could change almost every hour. So it could be impossible to have attention of at least 50% of humans.

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If I were to be asked on what I did on the Holiday vacation, I would say that nothing eventful I did, other than playing, watching, reading, listening, getting annoyed, and receiving gifts from people whose names I often forget (I'm not a good memorizer of things). If I were to be queried about the happiest/worst moments of my vacation, "I don't have one, and I'm still not getting any. In fact, I might not experience one at all. If someone asks, "What gift did you received on Christmas?", "Why the hell are you asking me these things?! Are you my stalker?! GET A LIFE, YOU DINGBAT! AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

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The last crisis of everyone in the Philippines: the sudden increase of costs of foods and services, as well as fireworks, explosives, noisemakers and wisecracks. The shops and stores had already inflated their prices last Christmas, and now they did it again, the event being New Year.

A message to you business pigs: how the heck could the country celebrate New Year if you're the only ones hogging the joy? How Dare You?! You will pay for your greediness. You are all abomination to The Almighty One! You will ALL die!!! MWAHAHAHAAHH!!!

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And this is my last entry for 2006. May everyone have a joyful 2007. Catch you later.